Melissa asked a smart question:
“How can I balance my natural brilliance with being a mother of four?”
First, there’s no reason why you can’t have your natural flamboyance in your style.
Being a mother of four doesn’t mean that your personality has to disappear. It means your clothes need to work hard for you. You don’t have to be a mom, but have a lifestyle that requires a functional wardrobe.
This is not about condescending. It’s about being strategic.
Start with the Practical Things
If you are a mother of one or four children, working is important. That is not negotiable.
So before buying clothes, ask yourself:
- Is this machine washable?
- Do I need to spend hours ironing?
- Is it washable and wearable?
- Can I run steam fast over it?
- Does it need regular dry cleaning?
If everything in your closet needs special care, it probably doesn’t fit into your lifestyle.
But if it’s machine washable and easy to care for, why not wear it?
Avoid dark and neutral colors when choosing practical items like your puffer jacket. Instead, choose a signature color that stands out and brightens up your winter days.
Useful doesn’t have to be obvious. It means that the dress matches your real life.
And that’s where smart style starts.
Flamboyance Does Not Mean Failure
We often confuse flamboyance with tumult.
They are not the same thing.
Flamboyance can be shown by using:
- The pattern
- Color
- Interesting construction
- Details
- Body posture
- Unexpected combinations
Here is an example of a very practical outfit with several features that make it very interesting – the textuerd fabric of teh knit top, the sashiko that joins the jeans and the large brooches that last a long time but make a statement.
For example, a pattern is a clever tool. It creates visual interest and, in fact, can hide the occasional sign of banana hands.
Instead of a plain denim jacket get one with a pattern – it’s still comfortable, very practical but way more flamboyant.
Pattern allows you to express personality without adding layers or complexity. A patterned t-shirt is still a t-shirt. It’s beyond you.
Make Basics Interesting
Sometimes the solution is not more clothes. It is thoughtful clothing.
It can be:
- A patterned t-shirt instead of plain
- Sneakers are comfortable but look interesting
- Embellished denim jacket
- A bold print dress that still has a jersey and is machine washable
There are a lot of interesting shoes out there if you really go and look. Comfort doesn’t mean boring.
Here’s a very comfortable and practical outfit, and it’s bold name is in the middle! The print is bold and fun, and the denim jacket is decorated (by me) to express personality.
This is where you stop settling.
Instead of holding on to an empty and predictable version, you choose a version that reflects who you are.
Explain What Flamboyance Means To You
I don’t know what your version of flamboyance is, and that’s important.
- For one woman, amazing sleeves.
- For another, it’s a bright color.
- For someone else, statement earrings or unexpected prints.
Now, big hanging sleeves might not work if you’re juggling four kids, or doing other things that might get them caught. That’s just the truth.
But that doesn’t mean there aren’t other design features available to you.
You can check:
- Interesting necklines
- Unusual seam details
- Bold patterns
- Composite fabrics
- Mixing colors
- Statement shoes
- Silhouettes are created
There is always a way to combine personality without compromising function.
Jeans and sneakers are comfortable and functional, but adding a bright colored shirt and jacket (this jacket is stretchy and super warm and comfy) takes it from being bland and boring.
Style Is About Alignment, Not Sacrifice
This is where we come back to something important.
Style is not about following rules. It’s about making decisions that align with your values and your life.
If you value self-expression, it deserves a space in your wardrobe.
If you value performance, that too deserves space.
This is not an either-or.
It’s about smart integration.
Try mixing prints – like this scarf and cardigan – all functional but adding a level of interest and contrast.
You Don’t Have To Be Boring
Just because you’re a mom or a grandma doesn’t mean your style has to go down the tubes.
You don’t need to fade into the background.
You don’t have to be automatic to be blunt.
You don’t have to limit yourself.
You can be helpful.
You can relax.
You can check them.
And you can still be flamboyant.
The important thing is not to lose who you are.
It improves the way you express yourself in a way that works well with the life you are currently living.
And that’s adult style.
Not Sure What’s Your Style?
Sometimes we can get lost in practice and lose sight of what our personal style really is. We don’t really know what we enjoy in terms of beauty, especially when we have been wearing a body that has changed shape and size. Rediscover your style with my Visualize Your Style mini-course – in just a few hours, you’ll rediscover what you love so you can start decorating a wardrobe that reflects your personal style (whatever you find to be your favorite).
