When we shared that we had hired a designer for Merrimore House, the questions immediately came pouring in. But one of you, Ginger, asked it in the comments better than I did:
“I need a designer for a bathroom remodel and a kitchen renovation. Without going to a box store, how can I find one, not the masses?”
For me, not the masses.That’s all, right? The good news is, bathrooms and kitchens are exactly the type of projects I would hire a designer for. That’s where I really got started: Jean helped us with our master bathroom and our kitchen, Shea designed the exterior of our last house in Idaho, and now – for the first time – I’m a client on a whole house project with Kate. So I’ve been on both sides of this.
Here is everything I would tell a friend who wanted to find a designertheirsstyle – not the masses’ – and actually speak that style once they’ve found it.
First, we know your style well enough to name it
This is the part that people want to skip, and it’s the most important part. A designer cannot chase a moving target. Before you go looking for anyone, be honest with yourself about what you really like – not what’s trending, not what looked good in someone else’s house, but whatyouI want to stay.
Here’s the truth I keep coming back to: I probably knowindeedwhat I want, but there are so many things I don’t know how to do, or that aren’t in my skill set. Knowing what you want and knowing how to do it are two different things, and the gap between them is where a great designer lives. Your job is not to find outHow. It should be crystal clearwhat– and the feeling behind it.
When we bought the lake house and came up with a name, Chris and I sat down and asked ourselves what we wanted to say.to hearlike. The answer was: more happiness. More happiness. That phrase did more to guide the entire design than any single paint color.
Where can you actually find them (besides a box store)
Here’s the thing about the box-store design desk: it’s built for volume. Every model is set up to move more people through a set of quality options – which is how you end up being “more.” There is nothing wrong with it, but if you are looking for someoneyoursusually you want a freelance designer who works on one home at a time. And the best for you is probably closer than you think:
- Ask your trade-in first.This is my number one. We found Kate at Noble Studio Interiors because she already works with our contractors on other projects. People who build and renovate homes all day know which designers are easy to work with and who really deliver. If you have a contractor or tiler lined up for the bathroom and kitchen, ask them who they like to work with.
- Ask friends whose homes you would like to stay at.A personal referral from someone you love and trust beats a search engine every time.
- Look at whose work you are doingto hearsomething.Search interior designers on Instagram and Pinterest, and don’t save the most photographed rooms — save the ones that make you gooh, i want to live there.If you notice the same word after three or four of those, that’s the style game talking.
- Talk to more than one.When we first hired a designer, we narrowed down to three that we liked and respected. Meet a few before you commit. Ours ultimately comes down to budget, location, and availability — all real-world things that matter as much as taste.
And one thing that relieves stress: the bathroom and the kitchen, you donotyou need to hire a housekeeper. Many designers work room by room, or offer a small consultation or design package for this type of update. That’s how I brought Jean in – certain rooms, not everywhere. So don’t let the size of your project talk you out of finding your person.
It’s a green flag to listen to
When you meet someone, here’s what you listen for:Do they want to absorb your style, or sell you theirs?
What sold me on Kate was something she said early on – that whatever our style was, she wanted to adopt it. And he was right. He quietly confirmed that he fully understood our style before adding one more idea of his own. It honestly felt like being at the eye doctor –one, or two? one, or two?– shrinking until he can clearly see what we see.
That’s the person you’re looking for. Someone who can take your idea and elevate it to a place you hadn’t thought of—not someone who takes its place.
How to talk to them about your style
Once you’ve found your person, that’s when you set them up for success. The clearer your brief, the moreyouthe end result will feel. Here’s how I do it:
Lead the way you want it to feel.Before finishing once, tell them the feeling. “I want it to feel like happiness the second we walk in.” “I want it to be calm.” “I want it to sound like us, but a more relaxed version of us.” Feeling is the compass by which everything else is measured.
Send everything — before you meet in person.I sent Kate all my inspiration for the lake house early on: how we wanted it to feel, how we wanted it to look. Outside, I gave the designers our budget, current photos of the house, and a Pinterest board of everything I was collecting. Give them a complete picture in your head, made from the outside.
Move them to real space.We walked through the entire house and showed them every structural change we had in mind. The pictures are beautiful; standing in the room together is better.
Be specific in your loveagainyour hard nos.Outside, we told them: we love the stone look, but we want something dark and versatile. Such clarification saves everyone the cycle of guesswork.
Say it when you are flexible.It’s just as important as your numbers. We told them we liked the front porch but we weren’t married to anything. That gives a good designer permission to surprise you in places where surprise is welcome.
Ask the budget question out loud.It’s not rude — it’s the most helpful thing you can do. We asked honestly,Is this true for our budget?It’s better to hear an honest answer on the first day than to fall in love with a plan you can’t build.
Let them be honest with you
One more thing, and another green flag: yousearcha designer who will tell you the truth.
A designer who only agrees with you is not doing the job you hired him for. The right one will protect your visionagainlet me know if something is off.
That’s the perfect formula: know your style, find someone who’s hungry to absorb it, and give them everything — the feeling, the images, the budget, the love, no, and the honest approval. Do that, and what comes back will not be their house or the catalog house. It will be soyoursit’s better if you went out alone. That’s how you find a designeryou. Never crowd.
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