This weekend was great. We went to Granville Island, which was too crowded to enjoy, and took two long walks in the woods. It was just what I needed after a busy few weeks.
I didn’t wear anything fun this weekend other than an all black dress, which in retrospect, felt simple. I’m wearing minea drop of lemoncolored tank but it wasn’t visible under my sweater so it wasn’t enough to jazz up the outfit.
And you know what? That’s right. Rest time is rest time.
Anyway, I’ve been thinking a lot about personal style, the choices we make as we get older, and how much room we give ourselves to change.
Last week, Angela left a comment that stuck with me. It was openmy bathing suit postwhich I found very challenging to do because I am humble.
She wrote, “Now that I’m fully into my Wise Woman Age, I just don’t want to be shown off or exposed to the sun.”
When I read his words, I thought, Yes! This is what I have been telling women for years. We get to make these decisions simply because we can.
I had never heard the speechThe Wise Woman Erabefore, and I was surprised. His comment sent me down a rabbit hole, and I spent hours reading about it and thinking about how well this phrase captured something I already believed.
I suspect that most of us are already in our Wise Woman Age, even if we never call it that.
For me, it means that I no longer feel the need to explain every no. You know what you like and what you don’t want, and you are willing to do something instead of fixing things for someone else’s convenience. Boundaries start to feel less like a conflict and more like self-care.
That part feels familiar to me. I know what I like, and I am free to make my own decisions. I don’t see the need to justify myself as I might have done years ago.
But this quote also got me thinking about the changing parts of us. I don’t think being a smart woman means we stop questioning things completely. If we did that, wouldn’t we stop growing?
Perhaps the difference is that we no longer question our right to choose. We are always curious about what else might be right for us now.
I’ve been thinking about this in regards to my style. I’m not the woman I was last year, and I don’t want my wardrobe to stay exactly the same while I keep changing.
I still love the classics and I’ll probably always see a nice neutral dress and think, yeah, that’s me. But lately, I also want more looseness, more interest, and more fun. Different without leaning towards eccentric…although that has its appeal too.
A few months ago, I saw a ring that has been haunting me ever since. When I finally stopped to think about why I was so drawn to it, I realized that it’s not normal at all. It’s rare, it’s clear, and it’s creative… not the kind of thing I usually choose. Maybe that’s why I can’t stop thinking about it.
Maybe that’s part of my Wise Woman Era too. Not to be a different woman, but to give myself more room to be the woman I already am. Or maybe the woman I fear.
I’m still thinking about that, which is probably exactly what I wanted to bring up here. I’m curious to know how you see it.
Have you heard the phrase Wise Woman Era before? Has aging changed what you give yourself permission to choose, in your style or elsewhere?
Student Questions
Q – I will be attending my 50th class reunion in September. It will be held in a relaxed environment. Any recommendations would be appreciated.
A – Normal is in the eye of the beholder. I would recommend that you wear something a little more dressy than you think is appropriate, so you don’t get caught off guard and feel underdressed.
If you are free from anormal dress, this oneit would be great with simple sandals or flats.This dress is by Nic+Zoeand a great option. If you prefer an arm warmer or will be dealing with A/C or cooler temperatures, this is itone of my favorite 3 layersIn addition. If you like pants, it’s softchino is always goodwhich can be layered with any blouse or sweater.
Q – I love your column and the many styles you choose, but most of the clothes you feature are out of my budget. Would you consider including affordable options for women living on a fixed income who still want to look stylish?
A – There is a lot to consider here because women at this stage of life have very different financial situations. Some live on a fixed income, while others have more flexibility to travel and spend on clothes. There really isn’t one standard budget.
It’s also worth distinguishing between the clothes I wear and the pieces I recommend. My closet reflects my lifestyle, tastes, and budget. I’m trying to share a price list, but I’m not going to recommend something just because it’s cheap. Fit, fabric, and utility are still important.
I hope readers use my style and advice as inspiration, and adapt them to their own lives and budgets.
Q – My figure has changed as I’ve aged, and now I carry more weight around my midsection and hips with very little waist definition. I’ve been relying on coats and tops, but I’d like to update my look. I’m young. What styles do you suggest?
A – You don’t need to force the definition of the waist, but I would stay away from long, loose tunics because they can overwhelm a small frame.
look forin small peaks that raise the bodyand ends near the upper hip.Collared stylesaslightly extended shouldera soft puff sleeve, or a subtle shoulder structure can help balance fuller hips. Side slits and open necklines will also keep the top from looking boxy.
Try itstraight leg pantsorslightly bootcut pants,short jacketsagainopen cardigans. A color column can create height, while A-line dresses can give you definition without clinging.
The goal is not to hide your shape, but to create a better balance and proportion.