If you like black tie you can be confused. That “optional” addition just throws a lot of people off. No worries. I am here to help.
As someone who responds well to boundaries, I actually like a strict dress code. Or rather, thank you adirectlydress code. The first time I received an invitation with optional black tie on it, my first reaction was, what exactly is black tie?
Does it mean you can wear any color tie? So, is that what I’m going to wear to a black tie wedding but I’m wearing a navy bowtie? Did it mean I didn’t have to wear a tie at all? What exactly is being said about choice here? I doubt it meant I could wear a tuxedo or a button down and jeans. And if I were to wear a full tuxedo, would I look too hard if I ended up being the only one who did?
Is one or all of these insecurities (or other insecurities) bothering you with this confusing way of dressing? No worries. I am here to help. Let’s dive head first into it by asking, whatit doesWhat does optional black tie mean?
What does Black Tie Optional mean?
Black tie optional means what it sounds like. You can buy black tie suits, which means black tuxedos or at least dark colored ones. Or, you might want something less dressy instead. However, remember that the hosts clearly want this to be a formal event. They are considering those who don’t have the right tuxedo or ball gown.
Therefore, you should consider and respect your host. You want to make sure that, even if you show up, you maintain the status quo that they are trying to fix. So this could mean a black suit and tie for men or a nice cocktail dress for women.
Next – since women can appear, in fact, in formal versions of cocktail dresses, can men do the same? The answer depends. If you’re willing to navigate this, read on. Otherwise, just go with a black suit and black tie or a tuxedo.
Here’s a five-second primer. For men, cocktail dresses, in particular, mean a suit. However, unlike formal business, you can go for funner, lively colors and accents. It’s still legal but a touch splashier (sometimes a lot splashier).
Consider the location, the season, and the event to decide if you can choose to go this route. Is it a floral-themed daytime spring gala? So, you can go for a cool version of cocktail dresses. Maybe he’s wearing a dark olive suit, white shirt, maroon tie, and boutonniere. Is it a beach dinner in the middle of summer? Then you can run away from the tie in the tones of the sea.
It is better to check in with the hosts. If it’s an annual event, research past photos to see what people wore.
Black Tie Optional Attire: Essentials and more
Okay, so now you have a bird’s eye view of your options if you’re invited to an optional black tie event. Now, let’s get into the weeds of black tie clothing choices. Here are some important things, no matter how you want to approach the event.
If you decide to go shopping for a full tuxedo, you’ll want to have the following clothes and accessories:
- A black or midnight blue tuxedo
- If you are on a boat or in warm weather, you can wear a white jacket with your tuxedo pants.
- A white tuxedo shirt
- Formal shoes. Normally, you would wear shiny black shoes. However, that is not a requirement. My tuxedo is midnight blue, and I wear cool brown Oxfords with it.
- Black, blue, or very dark brown socks
- Cufflinks
- A dress watch or nothing
- White pocket square. However, these days, you can also wear other neutral things, including neutral patterns. Again, consider this scenario. A flower pocket square under one can work for a spring themed party.
If you decide to go for a business suit, here are your best pieces:
- A black, full suit. It’s not a broken suit. Also, if you’re in warm weather, you can get away with a white suit jacket with black pants. Acceptable dark colors include black, midnight blue, and navy.
- A white dress shirt
- Black, solid tie. If you want to play it safe, just wear black tie. As always, no two events are the same. However, if you’re not sure, it’s best to err on the side of respect.
- Also, black socks, leather dress shoes, and cufflinks if applicable.
What About Cocktail Attire?
Remember, legal issues vary. Sometimes, mixing cocktail dresses is acceptable if it’s on topic. I know many black tie events in the fashion industry, which often encourage creativity.
If you know you can relax a little, here are some tips:
- Find a balance. If you are going to a cocktail party and want to wear a themed patterned tie, go for a traditional black suit. If you want to wear a maroon or olive suit, stick to a solid tie and a white shirt to get angry.
- Always be well prepared; it should go without saying. This is especially important if you’re pushing the boundaries a bit with splashy cocktail dresses.
- If you’re not sure how to go about a cocktail, just don’t. Stick to a business suit or tuxedo.
Black Tie Optional for Men: The Importance of Outerwear and Accessories
Black tie (and its adjacent dress codes) isn’t just about picking the right outfit for the moment. You should also make sure you don’t wet your tuxedo or suit. I have already mentioned the importance of grooming. Unless you’re a celebrity, this is not the time to rock those beachy waves.
The next important thing? Your outerwear and accessories. Listen, I love a good farm jacket and corduroy jacket as much as the next guy. However, you don’t want to put one over your tuxedo when you go to an event. Maybe there’s a casual, intimate event after that – a pub crawl, maybe. Well, of course. Very low may give your look a good thing.
But don’t show off a formal black tie with a jogging jacket and a new scarf. Could they end up wearing a coat all night? It is possible. But what if there are external components to the programs that you didn’t know about? Who doesn’t love a garden cocktail hour during a special event?
Choose your best peacoats and coats, and scarves in neutral colors. Choose nice, classic leather gloves over tough work gloves or shiny gloves. Choose smart, formal-looking umbrellas over the brightly patterned ones at your local drugstore.
Fortunately, it’s not hard to find affordable legitimate pieces. Department stores always have sales, and many online brands cut out salespeople. While we don’t advocate fast fashion, I also don’t judge people who live on a budget.
On the bright side, the black tie option for men is less confusing than for women! So, at least, we have that.
Frequently Asked Questions
Hopefully, the black tie dress code is no longer confusing now that you’ve read this. However, if you still have a few questions, no worries. Here are some answers to frequently asked questions.
Can I Wear a Gray Suit to a Black Tie Optional Wedding?
Yes, you can (not always) wear a gray suit to an optional black tie event. Get dark gray and finish with a white shirt and black tie. Gray is more acceptable during a daytime event than a nighttime one. Remember that no two black tie optional events are the same. If you’re not sure, just stick with black or midnight blue.
Can You Wear a Casual Suit to a Black Tie Event?
These days, you can wear a casual business suit to a black tie event. This is good news if you don’t have a tuxedo. Just stick to a black suit and tie; the darker, the better. A black business suit will fit in among a sea of tuxedos better than a navy one.
What is the Black Tie Dress Code?
A strict black tie dress code means you must wear a tuxedo with black tie. And, these days, a black business suit is often acceptable, too. Just be sure to check with the hosts if you’re not sure.
Conclusion: Respect Your Hosts
Actually, what’s your favorite black tie? For me, like any dress code of choice, it’s about respecting the occasion and your hosts.
Yes, technically, the word “optional” exists. However, if you have a tuxedo, you should wear it. If you think you can respect the vibe of the event without your tuxedo, you should still be wearing your tux. If someone is kind enough to have a guest, be kind and make an effort to stick to their point of view.
Questions? Comments? Put them in the comments below.